Thursday, September 28, 2006

Personal reflections bought on by the ever changing Bree Timmins

So in neighbours at the moment, as no doubt you'll have seen, one charecter, Bree is going through a bit of an identity crisis. Last week she sported a blonde wig and huge not-quite-as-cool-as-aviator sunglasses. Paris Hilton if you will. This week she's wearing heavy black make-up, some sort of black cape thing and black tops. But you watch neighbours, so you know all that of course. All of this was bought on by the discovery that her 'parents' weren't her actual parents, and her actual parents didn't want to know her. She lost her identity, and now's trying to find another one.

So what you ask?
Well, so this i tell you. One summer, i think it was between year 10 and year 11, so the summer of 2000 i went through a simialar thing and God was talking to me about that this morning. (see, neighbours is good) Nothing quite so seismic had happened in my life (a girl didn't like me) but nevertheless it left me searing for my identity. In wycombe as a teenager it was quite easy, on the face of it, to find yourself with a group of people. There were kevs, townies, skaters and goths. All of whom wore their own uniform and did their own thing. Now, at the age of 15 i knew i wasn't about to throw on some adidas silks and listen to the Artful Dodger, so the whole kev and townie thing was ruled out. So i thought i'd give the whole skater thing a go. Now, i couldn't actually skate, so i wore long shorts, big shoes, a baseball cap (backwards obviously) and sunglasses. This lasted about a week, i wasn't really managing it. So it thought i'd give being a goth a go. The thing was at this point i didn't actually like goths, hanging around the Rye, listening to bad music and being depressed, why didn't they just get over it i wondered...before i discovered existentialism and nihilism and got their point. So for a for a week i tried huge black jeans, hoodies and a long sleeved Rage Against the Machine t-shirt. Now again, you'll be wondering what the point of all this is.
I think this is.

Where was my identity at this time? Where is it now? Where is anyones? The Bible tells me that my identity is now found in Christ. No longer do i need to change the clothes i wear, the words i use, the people i hang out with to find to, and cling to some sort identity. I don't need to chnage myself to find validation in people any more, or in relationships, because my identity is in Christ. When i look back at the time in my life i've just been talking about, all i can see is slavery. All i can see is my own identity completly bound what someone else thought of me, trying to change myself for them. And here's the thing. Underneath i was still the same. No new heart, no new being. Just me under different clothes. But now i'm in Christ. And He has changed my heart. My heart which is what needed changing all along. And for that i'm glad. Well glad doesn't wuite come into it. I am exceedingly glad. And this is where my identity is now. Not in my clothes, or in my friends, not in who does or doesn't like me. Not in things that change like the seasons...but in Christ. Now He is my joy, and my security. Now He is who i want to please, want to live for. Want to change myself for. And thats great, because is never changing, never going to turn His back on me. And how cool is that? Much better than anything is used to try and do to change myself...and much more effective! Thank God for the Cross, and for the Holy Spirit...what an awesome God.

6 comments:

nicolalouise said...

watching neighbours today, bree enters

my dad: you used to look like that
me: ohhhh :(

hehe

Welshie said...

i'd love to see you dressed as a goth! Oh and btw, found some photos of you as a fresher yesterday...!

yeah good post mate, was watching neighbours with housemate t'other day and talking about this. blog/sermon illustrations from neighbours. love it.

Kath said...

Ah neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours. So much wisdom to be gleaned from the screen. Lovin it...!

FloydTheBarber said...

did i have a shaved head and a huge beard? Classic, stick em up ceryn...

notsobigtum said...

Have non of you English students corrected Ed that the title should say "brought" not "bought"? What are my taxes paying for...? ;-)

-bb- said...

great post ed...warmed the cockles of my heart and made me long for the days of summer when i had a tv license...sobs...