Tuesday, June 06, 2006

But i still see that tackle by Moore

When i was in the Up In Arms tonight i was thinking to myself, 'thats a interesting thought...i'll write something about that'. Can i remember what that thought was? I can not.

But i will say this. I think its a bit weird that in the winter i long for days of hot, unbroken sunshine, and then when those days arrive i find myself looking at winter photos, pining for slate grey skies and coats up to your ears. But we're off to the beach on thursday, so slate grey skies wouldn't really be appreciated then. I wonder if this weather disatisfaction is a metaphor for the rest of my life. I hope not.

I have terrible amounts of unbelief. Today, i really needed some quick, good advice about something. But Drew was at work, Bish away, and Dave P and T were both in London. But why did i think of them first. Sure, they're great friends and would have given sound advice, but why did i not talk to God about it straight away. Jesus shed blood on the cross that i might be won for Him, have a relationship with Him. I didn't need to explain the situation to Him, or ramble on trying to explain myself...'cos He's God. And yes, He was right, His ways are perfect, and that is good news. But who has the loudest voice in my life? Whose advice will i always seek out on every situation? I hope it's His, but days like today make me wonder whether it really is.

Where will i be in ten years? France? Africa? The Middle East? Reading? I think all these are possible with varying degrees of likelyhood. I know it'll either be France or Reading after my year in Guildford, and then if France almost certainly Reading after that again. But what has drawn me to these conclusions? The advice of others, or God's call. Do i just want to go the Middle East because of some sort of bravado about doing evangelism in closed countries (i don't think so) Do i want to go to Africa because i like the songs (maybe, but, man, what an exciting place to be) and what about Reading, is that just because i love my church and am love there. This place sure does need the Gospel though. Am i getting too caught up in serving the Lord, rather than just focussing my attention on Him alone. But this i know with all my heart. That God's plan for every area of my life so far has been perfect, and so i see no reason for that to change any time soon. Which is great.

Anyway, its 0315, so i feel i should go to bed before:
A) It gets light
B) Bish sees fit to repudiate me upon his return from Quinta.


Welshie said...

lol love that last comment..

ah mate, thanks for that post. good honest questions we all need to ask ourselves. thanks for the reminder.

-bb- said...

Yeah, totally understand that dilemma. sometimes its really hard to work out our motives for doing a job. It may be money, it may be success, it may be an easy life, and in church work i think the trap is of seeing it as 'the mobler thing to do' the more'godly thing to do'...Its a question i frequnetly ask myself- why do i want to do what i want to do? Shaeffer says that all of life is spiritual, except for sin. And all that God requires is we work unto him loivng him, and loving others...and then, i think the choice is, once weve prayed, sought counsel etc, maybe, up to us...?

FloydTheBarber said...

Totally agree about the trap that church work is 'more Godly', thats certainly a trap i've fallen into when it came to degree VS CU stuff at uni.
God gave us free will, and it's Him that creates the passion in our hearts, if we want Him to and let Him. So yeh, i think the choice is, once we've prayed and sought good council on it, up to us.