Your sword! Your sword! My dagger

Anyone expecting this to be coherant...is going to be dissapointed.

There are times, when i realise that i don't know anything. Everything i believe about what God wants and is doing and that all my half baked ideas are just that. Or not even that. And these are times that my conquered but oh so active sinful nature loves to dwell on, to feed, to linger in...to have them take over my life. And there are times. There are times when i look at the cross. And i think about my Redeemer standing on the earth, about His irresitable grace, about how good and benevolent He is, about the people i've seen saved, about Reading, about the thousands of people groups without a sustainable witness. And, somehow, through the fog, it makes sense. And all my questions 'what about this' 'why didn't this happen?' 'my way's better really' just fade away like the morning mist. These times are like fresh air to me. Gethsemene and Calvary shine like beacons. Beacons of the Lord's great love for me, for the Father. And rememberace that that is all there is. In a very real sense, there is no life outside of Jesus Christ. The message of the cross saved me, and it's changing me. And that is very cool. And very humbling.

And man, do i need to trust in the Lord more. To gaze at Him, enjoy His presence to dance at His love for me, and His redemption worj on the cross. I can't wait to spend most of the next two weeks immersed in the Gospel, and then i can't wait to spend the rest of my life immersed in the Gospel. I remember thinking as i was finishing off my Bible studies for Relay 1 this week, that i didn't really know where God was taking my life (which wasn't altogether true, i can recognise the things on my heart, my passions, my gifts to an extent) but that as long as He and His word were at the centre of it i can't go far wrong.

So thats where i am right now.

Confused? Sure
Redeemeed? Absolutely
Determined? By the grace of God
Rejoicing? Oh yeh!

Christ died on a cross for me. His precious blood was shed. That is my rock. That must be my rock. What joy there is from faith in that.Jesus, mighty awsome holy Jesus is going before me to Guildford. Man, how amazing is the Gospel.
I actually love it!

So i guess no more blogging for a couple of weeks. I'm going to be an actual Relay worker. How weird. Weird sure. I am buzzing right now with the Gospel, with this book that's beside me. With Jesus, and how awesome, in the real sense of the word He is.

Hallelujah!