Dirty Hope: Bulgaria 2008

I'm just back from twelve days in Svishtov, Bulgaria, a small town on the Romanian border. A group of six of us went to support, encourage, teach and fellowship with the church there, which was planted just over a year ago. It's really really hard to sum up a place like Bulgaria. It's like a heavyweight boxer who eventually wears you down with blow after blow of helplessness and despair. It's really hard to be there and really hard to leave. I loved it! Here are some snapshots of life in Bulgaria.

• A year ago there was some optimism in the country. They'd just joined the EU and things were looking up. Now however, their funding has been stopped, due to corruption, and the man on the street is in a worse position than he was before, as wages have flat lined but prices have gone up. Two factories face each other across the Danube in Svishtov, the people on the Romanian side earn 2-3 times as much as the people in the Bulgarian factory. Who work 12 hour shifts. 6 days a week.
  
  
• Bulgaria has the highest per capita abortion rate in Europe, and therefore probably the world. Svishtov must have more licensed premises in a smaller area then anywhere i've been, so that's probably not a surprise. The tragedy is the age of the girls involved. We sent time in a school working with 14 and 15 year olds in an English class. It was a lot of fun. What was less fun was seeing those same 14 and 15 year old girls walking into bars near our hotel at 1030 on friday night. There were no bouncers anywhere to be seen. It's not unusual for them to stay out drinking until 330 or 4 the next morning. Tim, who Pastors out there, regularly sees uni students leaving bars and clubs as he walks his children to school the next day. Given the conditions that most of these kids live in, (three or four small rooms, parents, siblings and grandparents) it's perhaps not a shock they don't want to go home.
  
  
• If an unreached people group is a language, ethnicity or nation that can not sustain an indigenous led church, then Bulgaria must be only half a step away from that. Svishtov has 35000 people and one church of about 50-60. Veliko Turnovo has 250000 people and maybe 3 churches numbering about 50-100, Sofia has 2 million people and maybe a dozen churches, a couple who gather over 100 on a sunday morning. Most small towns have no church at all, most big ones, only one. It's shocking. The saddest thing is that when Communism fell in Bulgaria, the people were hungry for truth. Who turned up first? Benny Hinn and his prosperity pals. The prosperity gospel was the first 'gospel' heard freely in Bulgaria for fifty years or so. And it's a bunch of junk. The Evangelical church is still struggling to make up the ground lost by the disillusionment caused in these early years.
  
  
• There is hope. Dirty Hope. In a corrupt, desperate society the only hope is the universally true Gospel. In a happy, comfortable society the same is true. It's good to remember that. The uniqueness of Gospel hope is so clear in places where there simply is no other hope. There is no other hope in Bulgaria apart from Jesus. Every leader always lets these people down. He never will. Living in the west, living in the Bible Belt, it's so easy to forget that. To put hope in people, places or things. That will never ever do. One day these will fail and fall. I love being in Bulgaria, because there i'm reminded that beyond the hopeless despair, there is Hope. The One Hope of the nations. Jesus Christ.

Gone to Bulgaria: Hold the rope

Monday morning sees me and five others from church fly out to spend just under two weeks in Svishtov, northern Bulgaria. I'm very very excited, for a number of reasons, but mostly because i love Bulgaria and Bulgarians, and i'm fairly convuinced that thats where the Lord has me and rachel in the future. Do pray for me, Ken, Steve, Ross, Eddie and Darren as we fly across Europe. I love these words that Andrew Ryland wrote of William Carey, some two hundred years ago:


Our undertaking to India really appeared to me, on its commencement, to be somewhat like a few men, who were deliberating about the importance of penetrating into a deep mine, which had never before been explored, we had no one to guide us; and while we were thus deliberating, Carey, as it were, said “Well, I will go down, if you will hold the rope.” But before he went down . . . he, as it seemed to me, took an oath from each of us, at the mouth of the pit, to this effect—that “while we lived, we should never let go of the rope

what does it look like?

But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

What does it look like to live like Acts 20:24 is true?

It could look like being on an island in the middle of the Ecuador amazon, and for reasons still not fully understood sixty years later, the native Americans you're trying to reach come at you with spears, and instead of shooting, you...well i don't know what you'd do. Run? Pray? Try and defend your friends? Make for the plane? But it means that despite having the firepower the defend yourself, and see your wife and kids again, you die, because the advance of the Gospel would be harmed if you fought back.

Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Roger Youderian, Ed McCully and Pete Fleming had guns. This only struck me recently. They really really could've fought back. I'm not going to lie, if that was me, i'd be reaching for my holster and shooting, and shooting to kill. But they didn't, because they really really considered the Gospel more important than their lives.

What i learn from goodbyes

That the Gospel is true, or better, worthwhile.

Now, of course if the Gospel was neither of these things i'd have never gone to Bulgaria in the first place, but saying goodbye to people and places that i love teaches me that the Gospel is worth doing so. If it wasn't i'd stay in a church i love, doing a job i love with people as close to me as my family. But the Gospel is worth the tears, Matthew 24:14 is true, so we press on.

That we weren't meant for broken relationships.

Look at Genesis 1-2, any broken relationships? Any goodbyes? No. The reason saying good bye to people is hard and feels wrong is because our hearts weren't made for the transitory. They were made for the eternal. They weren't made for saying goodbye, but for enjoying extended fellowship that never ends. Our sin, my sin has broken that, and for a while, a short while, we must live with the consequences. And yes, a million times yes, it's not Heaven if Christ isn't there, but i'm looking forward to not saying goodbye to my friends ever again!

That Church is a great idea.

If you care about the spread of the Gospel, you care about the local church. I would never want to be in a church that i didn't weep for the last time i pulled out of the car park, never want to follow men who i didn't hate saying goodbye to. Never want to be part of a SUPA team that wasn't more about 9AM banter than chairs. I'd never want to do this Christian thing on my own, thank God i'll never have to.

That there's a world outside England and my career.

The world's getting smaller all the time. But it's still huge. Phone calls make us feel like we're in the same room, but four thousand miles is still a long way. But the nations are out there, and they need reaching, the world doesn't stop at the Bristol Channel, there are people needing salvation everywhere, and how will they hear unless we tell them. Why not stay in Reading? Earn a few more quid and build a proper life there? Why not do a long term job, my dream job in many ways, with a mission agency i adore. Because there's a world outside of it, because God has called me there, and because my 'career' or being somewhere that people value my opinion on things ultimately doesn't matter at all. When i look into His face, i'll only ever wish i'd given Him more.

That in all these things, Christ is magnified.

No cross, no good things to be sad about saying bye to. No cross, no good things to look forward to. No cross, only Hell forever. The Gospel is worth it because Christ is worth it, moving is worth it because Christ is worth it. And something else. Through all these punctured relationships, one is unchanged. One is still the same. Christ is with me, for comfort, vision, hope, strength, joy and best of all, salvation leading to Himself. And in the final reckoning, He is all anyone needs.

Missions are good, no?

Just got this email from a friend spending her summer in northern Bulgaria.

Bulgaria is going well, it is sooooo hot lately. and I think it's made me a little sick, but I'll be alright. I'm living with a girl named xxxx who is a Christian. She got saved in Tim and Lydia's church about 7/8 months ago. She used to be a party girl, I'm talking every night at the club, it's amazing to see how much she's growing. The first week I was here she showed me all of the clothes you loves but can't wear anymore, they were pretty slutty, AND she used to go "monokini" at the beach, which means topless. She's super fun, but yesterday I took her to the train station because she's leaving to go and work at the sea the rest of the summer...That totally bummed me out. The other girl I'm living with is xxxx. xxxx is not a Christian and she's still in the whole club scene, it's common for her to come home at 4am or to call xxxx and say she's not coming home at all.

It's pretty sad, and xxxx doesn't speak much English at all past introductions. She also works a lot so I haven't really been able to connect with her much. But yesterday was AWESOME. So xxxx's mom teaches me Bulgarian. At the end of every lesson she has me read a few pages of a children's book. Yesterday when I got done reading she told me I didn't mess up at all and asked me if I had been reading the paper or something.

Well, I had been reading the gospel of John to Cvete cause she helped me with words, so before xxxx got on her train she gave me her Gospel of John and had written in it. And xxxx's mom speaks no English so I pulled it out and said I've been reading this. She smiled, opened it and had me read the first chapter to her!! Who would have thought the first time xxxx's mom would hear the Bible is me reading it to her like a first grader?! Then she told me for homework to practice the 2nd chapter and she'll dictate parts of it to me to write down tomorrow. So Bulgarian just got better. Learning the language is like a roller coaster, some days you feel like wow, i've learned so much, and other days you just feel like you're wasting your time. But it's worth it when you see how excited people get to hear you speak their language.

The lost paragraph

My brain is a messy place. The following was in my script for my talk at RUCU tomorrow on 1 John 1:1-4, about fellowship with the Father and the Son. Following advice to 'say less and say it slower' i took it out and rewrote it. Anyway, here it is sslightly more broken down and readable, an insight into my head:

And look at what this fellowship of believers looks like from a different perspective.

Those who believe the apostolic proclamation share in their fellowship with the Father and the Son. This is the fulfilment of John 17:3 ‘and this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.’

You see, Christian fellowship is impossible except on the basis of fellowship between and with the Father and with the Son. There can be no deep, real Christian fellowship apart from belief in the apostolic Gospel. Because it’s faith in God through the God-man Jesus, that secures Christian community

It’s because, importantly in the context of the letter, that the Father and Son exist in eternal fellowship that we can have fellowship with each other at all. We have fellowship with God through our shared purposes borne by belief in the Son and expressed in prayer and enjoyment of Jesus. This is a staggering thing for John to be able to say, but it’s true. Faith in the Biblical Gospel brings us into fellowship with God the Father, and with His Son and with the Holy Spirit.

Us! This is amazing. Salvation isn’t mainly about forgiveness of sins or God’s wrath being propitiated, those things are infinitely necessary but they are not ultimate. Eternal fellowship with God, that is what salvation brings us.

In other news, Latin Link who own the building that we have our office in are having their selection day today. All morning a steady flow of young potential missionaries have been walking across the carpark. it's pretty thrilling stuff!

Stories that need to be told

Missionary endevour looks foolish to the world. There's really no way around that. In fact, at it's best it looks foolish, at it's worst it looks imperialistic as well as foolish. Why would someone, particularly someone from the west, with all our benefits, education, health, wealth and advantages choose to go somewhere like Bulgaria or Yemen or Mauritania to tell people about Jesus? Why give up everything you've got for a religious ideal?

Well, because it's not simply a religious ideal. Jesus isn't a religious ideal. He didn't come to lobby, or save the environment or give us the kingdom on earth...he came to save. Jesus is supreme over every thought, very theory. He is Lord over every people group, every island, every language, every culture. And He will judge them all on the Last Day. And thats why missions is not foolish. Thats why it's the greatest act of love there is. Thats why Gospel proclamation is the biggest priviledge in the world.

Jim Elliot is a hero of mine. His life and especially his death looks foolish to the world. Bright man, young family, all of his life ahead of him, limitless potential...flies to a remote part of Ecuador to tell the Aucas about Jesus...and is speared to death days later. That is foolish if the gospel is not true. But missionaries like Jim are (i presume) driven by an all encompassing belief that the Gospel is true, and constrained by the joys of Heaven and the horrors of Hell. Ands thats why his life, and certainly his death wasn't wasted.

This week i came across the story of William Borden, which you can read in detail here. He didn't even reach his field before he died. Although he was a millionaire, Bill seemed to realize always that he must be about his Father's business, and not wasting time in the pursuit of amusement. Here was a man who knew the price Jesus had paid for His inheritance, knew the cost of following Him, and went anyway. Here is a man who would be in the 21st century Hebrews 11.

I love stories like this, that fill my heart with respect for men and belief in God, and make me realise that Christ is our all surpassing gain. These are stories that must be told.

Mission Joy

One of the things i thought a lot about in Bulgaria was the cost of being a full time missionary. This really hit me one day when i was praying, and i realised how for the first time in my life i was properly homesick, to the extent that the deepest longing in my heart was to be sitting at home with my family, reading the paper and shooting the breeze.

This was not good. Not good at all, and mercifully the Lord delivered me from it very quickly. But that was the first time i realised the scope of what missionaries are called to give up. Big things, like most of my close human relationships, the vast amount of social and political security you get from living in the west, seeing my little sister grow up, being with my parents when they get old, through to the little things, like the view over the chilterns from my parents back garden, food that i enjoy, waking up with Moyles and getting home with Mills...everything really. At the time i was reading a biography of Hudson Taylor, a man who went through so much for the Gospel that it really is impossible to summarize, and who was able to say at the end of it all 'i never made a sacrifice'. There, surely is the essence of missionary joy. Thats what i longed and continue to long for in my heart.

And i'm glad Jesus knew that, and i'm glad that, as ever, He has the answer. He says, in Mark 10:29 that no one who has left anything will fail to recieve it back...but those who give up for the Gospel will not simply get back what they gave up, they will get back one hundrededfold what they gave away. Isn't that remarkable? Anything and everything we give up we will receive back abundantly, with persecutions, which are there to make us Godly, in this life and etenal life in the age to come.

If this isn't a Christian hedonist call to missions i don't know what is. Yes, there are sacrifices, but as ever in the Christian life, you sacrifice the lesser joy for the greater. Yes there's pain, but what joy to come in eternal life. Surely this is a call to missions that our satisfaction hungry hearts can not ignore. Surely the call is to fling away what we don't need but cling to in this life, for the sake of the glory of God now and forever, and our joy forever. That's whats being promised here...everything you give up, you will get back. Jesus is not made famous by people who hold things more valuable than Him, and lament the loss of those things for Him. He is made famous by a people who have their eyes fixed firmly on the Heavenly city and are willing to do anything to secure thier eternal, exceeding joy there...

why bother?

There is indeed, something irresistable about getting the Gospel to eastern Europe. I can't explain it, but it's there, inside me. It lures and attracts me more than getting a good job, leading a quiet life in the suburbs and dying in my garden. I certainly don't want to die collecting shells in Punta Gorda, Florida. Keep me from that. But why should anyone bother? Why go somewhere like Bulgaria, why long to go back somewhere like Bulgaria? I think there are four main reasons.

The Glory
The glory of God is at stake in missions. Bulgaria is a country of about 8 million people, and just 0.5% of those are Christians. Now, even allowing for the fact that in a country of fewer Christians God's glory is more manifest in those who are calling on Him, thats still not much glory from people. Of course, the landscape and the weather and the diverse language and culture bring much glory to God. It's imposible to look at views like this without standing back in awe at our creator. But people were made to communicate the glory of the Lord in a different way. By worshipping Him, by waiting on Him, by enjoying Him. That the glory of God is supreme in the affections of God is fresh air to me. If i thought for a moment that me and my welfare was supreme in the affections of God then my passion for mission would be over. Now of course, the best bit about this is that my desire to be satisfied and God's desire to be glorified have the same end, because God is most glorified in me when i am most satisfied in Him. Isn't that good news? The glory of God is at stake, the glory that causes people to cry from their hearts 'how majestic is your name in all the earth' is at stake.

The Authority.
The great commission of Matthew 28 is a passage that i love. Oh the confidence and joy that it gives to the missionary endevour. All authority has been given to Him, therefore we are to go. Christ rules all, we must trust and go. He commands it, because of His authority. And because of these two things, the authority of Christ over us and over everything, we have the command to go, the twofold reason to go and the confidence to go. And this is compelling good news.

The Promise.
Matthew 24:14 is probably my favourite verse in the Bible. This Gospel will be will be preached to all nations, all tongues, all tribes, all people groups, and then the end will come. More authority from Jesus, and another great promise. We know the end is coming, we know that Jesus will return, therefore we know that the Gospel will be preached to the ends of the earth. It's a conditional promise, the preaching of the Gospel to all the ends of the earth...but we know that the condition will be met faithfully and forcefully...so we know the Gospel will be preached to the ends of the earth. So to not waste your life is to spend your life upon the glory of God through Jesus Christ in the mission field. And this doesn't neccesarily mean going abroad. The City needs missions, offices need missionaries, our families need missionaries and so do our friends. All Christians in that sense are missionaries, so we should have hope and confidence in the 2414 promise, and go and share the Gospel.

The Reward.
In some countries you can and will be killed for being a Christian, for sharing the Gospel. I believe that this number of countries will only increase as time moves forward. Better not go to those countries then? But what of Psalm 63:3? 'because the steadfast love of the Lord is better than life my lips will praise you' You see that? There is something better than life...the steadfast love of the Lord. They can kill our bodies, but not a hair on our head will perish. Again, great promises made with great authority to give us great confidence in the missionary endevour. They worst people can do to us is send us to Heaven to complete our joy. The devils greatest weapon is death, but Jesus has turned that great weapon into the beginning of our greatest joy, eternity with Him. A death that shows that Christ is more precious to you than life is not a death wasted...

let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also,
the body they may kill, God's truth abideth still
His Kingdom is forever