You can run - you can not hide

Interesting thing, late night prayer. When all is stripped down, and you're tired, and you realise that the sunny facade you've been weating during the day is just that. And prayer is a beautiful thing. God is soveriegn, wholly soveriegn, and good, more good than we can imagine, and is more for us in Jesus Christ, the precious name above all names than we'll ever know this side of Heaven, but we must let Him in, so to speak. Self deception is one of the Devil's most potent weapons, and one that will rob us of our ability to communicate with ourselves, and with God.

So hooray for the Holy Spirit, who will intercede for us. Who'll look into our hearts say 'nothing good here' and take over for us. This is good, but we need to get on board, we need to engage. How often do i wrestle in prayer? How often do i 'get into the ring' with God? With my feelings? With the enemy. Am i just using my front line walkie talkie to order more cushions (i *may* have stolen that from somewhere!) Am i talking the talk (oh yeah send me somewhere that they kill Christians, Psalm 63:3 and all that) without walking the walk (um, God, why don't we deal with this situation my way) How often are the tears i shed for me, rather than for the state of the world, than for the lost? I think the most powerfully answered prayers i've ever had have come when i've been at my wits' end, when i've had nothing but the mercy and knowledge of God to fall onto. This has happened twice, over broadly the same situation, when i've been desperate, and they've both been answered, because with all my heart i've given them to God. I've not tried to hide part of it, or hold onto part of, i haven't been able to.

I remember thinking that i hoped 2006 would be like 2004 in a 'growth in God' year sense. In the spring and summer of 2004, i was totally broken. More wrecked than i have ever been. And that was a gift, a precious, glorious gift from God, because it meant that all i had was Him. He was also, all i needed. I remember praying desperatly that if God needed to break my heart every day that we'd be closer, He should do it. Do i still think that now? Or are my 'issues' (i hate that word but can't really think of a better one) now viewed as something to put up with, rather than something that God is using for His glory and my benefit.

Am i satisfied with all that God is for me in Christ? If i lost all the fleshly things that i have around my right now, is my faith strong enough to look at Jesus, to fall at His feet and say thankyou. I hope so. I know that He who started a good work in me will not give up, man, He would've had done long ago if He was going to. And this is a glorious promise, a wonderful truth, like oxygen. I know that i am wholly redeemed, and counted righteous in Christ. I know that my sin is atoned for, that NOTHING can seperate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. I also know that faith, without works is dead. Dead. And this is a chilling thought. Can faith, real, saving faith in Christ die? No, of course not, but it is marked by grace orientated, faith driven works.

I know i need to stop being intropective, and look the Jesus, the Christ. Jesus of Nazarath. Jesus, the one who Moses wrote about. Jesus, the Lion of Judah and the Root of David. Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away our sin. Jesus, who was crushed for my iniquity. Jesus, the Son of God. Jesus, who defeated death. Jesus, the living God. Jesus, the Word of God. Jesus, the Lamb who was slain. By His wounds i am healed. At His will i am restored. Great news. Security in our relationship with Jesus is vital. Believing in His promises is vital, that He is for, that He will never forsake us, that because of Him goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our life. Because of Him we are saved, and because of Him death is the completion of our victory. What then is fleeting hardship, be it physical or emotional? It's nothing. Nothing is anything, compared to Christ. To His light, His way, His promises. Lets go. Lets go and live like the steadfast love of the Lord is better than life. Cos it is!

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice
Philippians 4:4