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Goodbye to all that

Last exec meeting tonight. We had both the outgoing and incoming committees together for the main body of the meeting, which meant i had to squeeze 17 people into my living room...which was not easy. The the incoming guys left, and well all wrote on the plates that Annie and Karen had bought...solid stone things that we wrote on with paint...it was top. So many laughs and fun times recalled (Who IS the other Roger by the way Hev?) as we wrote messages on eachothers plates.
These are nostalgic times, remembering the fun, the laughter, the problems, struggles and the hard times we've come through with Jesus at our side, enjoying the fellowship He's given us. It seems funny getting upset about it, we're going to see eachother again on thrusday! And yet we've all had a year of unity that we'll always share. I count the 8 others on Committee as some of my closest friends. I love them all. And i'm going to miss committee...the people...the times we shared. But i know that there's more ahead. More challenges, more problems, more good times and more lives. But that i've learnt and enjoyed this year probably more than any other, and that's due in no small part to my brothers and sisters on Committee. I'll never forget them.
All i can do now is Praise Jesus for the times we shared, and for all He gave us. Thanks gus...thank you Jesus. It rocked.

Gotta find a way, a better way, i'd better wait

Tom Price, a Reading graduate and Head of the UCCF's Apologetics website (go there NOW), came to do a lunchbar today on 'Does Religious Passion Lead to Terrorism?' and then to do some World View Survey training in the afternoon.
My story today isn't about Tom, or about the talk or the training, its about what God is doing at Reading, and how amazing, scary and challenging it is. Tom started talking at 1315...at about 1320 a guy walks in who was obviously heavily under the influence of alchohol, perhaps among other things. Tom stood, and explained the gospel through the spectrum of his title. It was during the Q and A our friend started to talk. It wasn't a point or question raised because of the talk, or anything even relevant to what he had heard, it was about the bigger question of morality and right and wrong, and the value of life. He was angry, not at Tom, or God or Christians, but at life. And sure, his language and behavior was pretty offensive, if one is offended by those things, and it would have been easier to wish that he wasn't there, and that he'd never come. But here's the point. He DID come. he came and heard the gospel. Perhaps for the first time. he was listened to, and Tom answered his questions well, and fully, centred on the cross. These are the people we need to reach. The people are regarded as a waste of time, as a curio, as someone who we wished was somewhere else. He came. God is doing big things. These are the people we must reach, the hopeless, the Godless, the people who have nothing but a can of lager in their hand at one o'clock in the afternoon. These are the people that must break our hearts, that we must sacrifice all things for to reach. Tom was great handling his questions, his attitude and demeanor. I'm sort of rambling, i don't really know where i'm going. I think he is the sort of guy i'd be if at Easter 2002 i'd turned by back on Jesus instead of embracing Him. Angry, sad, drunk, confused and lost. There, literally, but for the grace of God go I. So lets look for these people, lets reach them. Christ suffered far too much for us to decide that some people are troublemakers or difficult or too abusive or whatever.
God's really been speaking to me recently about how good it is to know Him. I'd been a Christian for nearly a couple of years when in February 2004, i had my heart broken. It would have been so easy then for me to give up and become my own god again. And i thank God every day that i didn't. That March 2002 and February 2004 saw me choose Christ over life, saw me persuing death to self and life in Christ instead of the world. CEx yesterday really made me think about how i'd view God at the moment if either of those moments in my life had gone differently. It makes me want to cry out with joy, and throw myself at the foot of the cross in praise for our wonderful, faithful living God.
Hope 2006 is exciting and scaring me in equal measure. Freshers week was amazing, for the number of people we got in contact with. I'm praying big numbers, big prayers for Hope 2006. Since my first year i've prayed on and off for an organised, Godly chaos because of the power of God's word proclaimed to unbelivers on campus. Judging by the events of the last couple of days...i see no reason to believe that God's name will be lifted higher than ever on campus during Hope 2006.

So seek out difficult people. Remember always that the only difference between them and you is that you are forgiven. Let God show you time and again how good it is to know Him, how good He is that we should know Him. And rejoice. And go into battle.

CEx...wow!

Amazing, amazing times in HumSS 125 tonight as the RUCU Christianity Explored course kicked off. I was thinking before that i'd probably never been this prepared for this sort of thing before, certainly in terms of experience, but i knew that if i didn't give it all up to God, and trust His sovereinty completly, it would all go wrong. We catered for between 12-15, me in my horrible, cynical unbelief never ever believing we'd get so many...
About 20 guests turned up...which may not sound like many from a field of around 13000, but wow! It was so exciting! Every time i left the room to get more food, or more plates i came back and there were more people arriving. Me and Nicola had to run to the Union shop to get more cutlery ( we still didn't have enough, about half of us had to eat with knives) and i called Annie who was there...and from the sound in the background it was clear there were loads of people there...then i got the FEAR! I was scared. But it was great, God took away all our self assurance, all our feelings of control and complacency over the evening and made it so we had to rely on Him. Cool stuff huh? So we had the group bible study, which was Mark 2:1-12 (Ceryn, thank you SO MUCH for helping out, you're a hero) and there were some good questions, like 'was the paralytic more of a sinner?, and some very random ones for example 'are there tigers in heaven? (why is it always guys that ask these questions!?) but it was good, and the people in our group were receptive and interested. Then Rico Tice on the DVD, and then a chat about that...and then no one really wante to leave. I am so encouraged. We have a God that answers prayers in such a serious manner, such a powerful God. Praise Him that we know Him and are known by Him, we're so blessed to be believers, and its so easy to lose sight of that. I've been praying that big numbers (and i mean big!) would come to Him during events week...after tonight, i really believe it, Praise the Lord.
Then back to the Chappy to wash up, where Bridge Cell are still in the quiet room, praying and studying together, it was great to chach up with them, and just be with them for a bit as we washed up, I was so encouraged. It was great, even though washing up took nearly an hour!
And so here we are. I am blown away, encouraged and so so thankful to God for all He's doing at the moment in these guys lives. Please please pray for them, for Emma, Fran, Sian, Ruth, James, Pierre, Jools, Izzy, Jo, Kim, and goodness me, the other ten whose names i can't remember. Coming week one is hard enough, sticking with it will be even harder, the enemies going to be trying every trick in the book to reel then back in. Lets wear out our knee pads for these guys, and for the glory of the Lord...What an awesome God we have! Praise Him!

Ceryn bought me sherbet

So, as you can see from this slightly poor photo, Ceryn bought me sherbet tonight. There's no great story behind this, except that she bough Tim some, so why not me. After much persistance my whining campaign has paid off. But now...why should Ceryn buy me and Tim sherbet and not you? Next time you see her, make sure you ask her to buy you sherbet, cos now she has to!

So why do we need saving? (Or, why do we bother with shiny slogans and gimmicks when the gospel is enough?)

Piers spoke from Romans 1:18-2:11 last night at CU. Wow! Such a challening passage to listen to, such devastating truth in there, all at once difficult and exciting to listen to. So what is God's problem with us? Well, because although we know God, we do not honour Him or give thanks to Him. In other words, we all have the evidence to hand that God exists. God has shown us through creation His glory, and His majesty. So, as it says in 1:20, man is without excuse. We are. Man sees God, in sunsets, in the symphony of creation, in the birth of a child...but refuses to give God the thanks and honour He deserves. So God has every right to be angry with us. So, God gives us up to our godless desires, to our impurity, to the dishonoring of His body, because we have excepted the lie. This is pretty damning stuff, and it continues in the rest of the passage...all that we do that is Godless, all laid out for us. God's problem with us is that we have turned from Him. He is the Creator, and yet we have decided to dishonor Him and instead chosen to worship the created. It's crazy, why look for meaning and purpose in the created, and not the creator. And yet we all do it, it is so prevalent in our society. So we're stuck. God has given us up to our dishonourable passions, the passions we so freely engage in. We have no hope before this mighty, holy Creator. Not only is it bad enough that we indulge in these things, we also give approval to those who do, knowing that those who turn from God like that deserve to die. And so chapter one of Romans ends, pretty damningly, man, lost and hopeless, turning our backs on the one true God, the Creator and Sustainer. Well, if Piers had left it there it would have been pretty bad news last night. If God had left it there it would be bad news all the time. And yet the message we preach is good news. How come?
Chapter 2 picks up the story. Verse four talks of God's kindness leading to repentance...God was so concerned with the glory of His name that He sent His Son to die, that we might see His glory and know Him...That is the Good News. He will render to each what they earn. To those who seek for themselves: wrath, fury, tribulation and distress. But for those who by the grace of God seek what is good, there will be eternal life.
So there is what we need saving from. Ourselves, more or less. The fact that though we know God, we neither acknowledge or thank Him. That is what we need saving from. Nothing else. The completed work of the cross means that we can now be in a relationship with the Father. He has graciously shown us His glory in the face of His Son, Jesus Christ, so that now we are no longer given up to the lusts of our hearts, but that we can seek the glory and honour of the Father, in the face of the Son.
Which brings me, in a very roundabout fashion, to my other, shorter point. Why do we bother messing around with the gospel? Why do we dress it up with additions, or water it down by taking away from it? Do we really think we can achieve more with our own message, or that the message we come up with is better than Gods, or that we can save those with our message God can't with His? Piers said last night that he felt intimidated by the message he was bringing from the Word. I certainly felt intimidated listening to it, surrounded, as I was by unbelievers. So yes, it can be scary to deliver the Gospel in full, but its all we've got, it's the light of God, it's the power of God, and most importantly, its the tool He's chosen to use. Who are we to try and improve on that?

I loved the way she said 'LA'

This will probably turn into a bit of a ramble, and for that, i make a little apology. How great is our God? I mean, really? How infinite, how holy, how unimaginably in control of the minutiae of our lives? What a great thing the cross has done for us, that we can have acess through faith (through faith! just by believing) to God our father. It's just top.
Just had a chat with my dissertation supervisor, and we've found an exciting compromise in the theology essay Vs history essay debate. I'll now be looking at sources of authority in the reformation. So i should, nay, must look at people like Luther and Calvin, as well as The Bible for my dissertation. How exciting is that! What a privaledge that is. I'm really excited as i sit here working on it now to think of the things i will read, the way they will refresh my soul and excite me again about the the truth of what Jesus won for us.
Church was great on sunday. I was prayed for at the end to try and embrace the grace that i have been freely given...for that grace to truly change me. And guess what? Since that happened, almost to the day, the enemy has stepped up the temptation/attack on me. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord that His grace is enabling me to change, that my changing is upsetting the enemy, that things are happening, that the Lord is making me stronger...*awesome God*.
The new Christianity Explored course is starting on monday. I met up last night with the other guys 'running' the course, and that was so exciting. Some of the things that i was reminded about evangelism really spoke to me, but especially the simplicty of having to answer the question you were asked. Sure, you may want to talk about propitiation, or the power of the Holy Spirit, but if you're asked a question about the salvation of amazon indians...ANSWER THAT QUESTION...and preach the gosple always. It also struck me that often the world's perception of Christians is that they're missing out on life, that they're wasting their time in delusion (Ned Flanders anyone?) but man, could that be further from the truth? Life to the full is what we're promised in John 10:10, not life minus the good bits. Psalm 16 talks about eternal pleasures, not eternal self denial. No sort of god is glorified like that. So is that our fault for keeping ourselves in bondage, or not showing what our faith really is, or just the misunderstanding of the world...there's a challenge!
I think Mark's death has upset me more than i really thought it would. Until today i was really unable to set my mind to anything...it kept drifting back to him. I went to the football ground yesterday to put down some flowers...it was incredible. But God is good. God is our sustainer, and there it is.
So exciting, if sad, times at the moment. I even loved my history lecture this morning, half an hour of which was on the dialectics of social political history. I love that stuff...why can't it all by that good!

Anyway...back to Calvin and Luther...woo!

Mark Philo. 5th October 1984-14th January 2006

It's sometimes said that some stars shine twice as bright, but for half as long. That cliche would certainly not be out of place if applied to Mark Philo.
Mark played for Wycombe Wanderers, the club he's been at since he was 15, the club i've supported since i was 8. Mark died at 1620 this aftternoon, after a car crash just outside Reading in the early hours of this morning. He was 21 years old.
The relationship between supporters and players is a strange one, but i know i'm not alone in thinking of them as some sort of extended family. When the club's MD announced the news in the bar after the game today (the game was played at his families request), a number of people, myself included shed a lot of tears. There's no real way to explain how i feel this evening, but i know it can't be as bad as his family, friends, and the players he's played with for six years feel. My prayers and heart go out to them tonight.

Mmmm Grace

When i started this blog, back in the crazy sunshine days of June, Bish described it to me as a place where thoughts could be processed and such like, and he deffo had a point (y'know, for a change).

By my legalist standards i've had a 'bad' couple of days. I don't want to go into the ins and outs of things, but they haven't been pretty, i think, for example, i referred to at least one person as 'scum' while watching the news today. Hardly gracious speech seasoned with salt around outsiders eh? I've had a bit of a heart malaise in the last thirty hours, and its not been good. Also, i have done no work today, and only got dressed about three o clock. So a 'bad' time recently then?

But this is what i'm learning about grace. To say that because of grace the 'bad' days are inconsequential is wrong, if anything else because it brings out pride in the 'good' days. No, grace means we are perfect forever, grace means we are hidden in Christ Jesus, grace means we have access to the Father through the Son. Grace means there are just days...days where Jesus loves you. Day's where Jesus died for you. Day's where your name is carved onto His hands. Days where we must focus our attention on the cross of Jesus Christ.

Why do i quantify times like these as 'bad'? Because i'm too proud, too me centred, too legalistic. Because, to an extent, i don't practice what i preach i guess. Not because Christ thinks any less of me.

When i look back on my year on RUCU committee through the rapidly enveloping twilight, i have some regrets. I wish i'd grown more, embraced more, changed more, had more faith, fought a better fight. But i know that because of the grace of God, there is nothing i can do, more or less, than look at the cross, ask for mercy, and push on.

If only tonight we could sleep

So its 2340, which is not really late by by current, bad, standards. But i'm nowhere near tired enough to sleep, and i've got to get up at 0700 tomorrow to do Cell Training Prep. But, and here's the exciting bit...we get to study the bible! So i don't really care about getting no sleep, or the state my hair will be in at 8am in Cafe Mondial, because it's such a treat being in the word of our living God. We're looking at 1 Corinthians 1, which'll be excellent, and then at the central RUCU meeting on thursday, we're looking at the Romans 1:1-18. It's going to be excellent.
Praise the Lord for His word, it's amazing.
Just Praise the Lord full stop really...go on, do it now!